It’s Friday, December 23rd. Are you ready for Christmas? Nope. Me either. It’s ok.
Our theme this month on The Daily Feels is CARING. After the last few months, I can attest that CARING has really made me tired. I’ve cared too little, too much, too often, and well too many times to count. I confess, I’m tired of caring.
Grinch, aren’t I? I know. But here’s the thing. Caring for or about someone or something else is work. It’s only effective work if the care is given to those that want to receive it. Cold hard fact, no matter how much you care about anything, it takes reciprocal resonance to have or create any lasting results. Hence, sometimes, NOT caring is the only realistic reaction to unwanted or resistant reciprocation.
So, this holiday season, I want to present you with a solution. If you, too, have found yourself in a state of “over-caring” about things and people who just aren’t ready for your “care”…
Take a step back and just hold space. Seriously. Don’t “care less”. Don’t learn “the art of NOT giving a F***”. Just step back and “care” in a different way. Maybe what the opposing side needs more than effort is absence for just a beat…or maybe forever. But whatever the length of time, it’s kinda out of your hands at a certain point.
This day in age, many think that caring is an action word. It’s something you have to do. Well, sure. Maybe. But in many of my own worst moments, I had to accept that my way of caring with action didn’t always elevate my target, but rather made it/them recoil entirely.
I don’t know why. I am not an expert or a therapist. However, MY therapist told me that having more than one way to do things is the best way to give grace without shame to a situation worth fighting for. So, that’s what I’ve been doing. Instead of diving in harder, I’ve taken a backseat. I’ve observed. I’ve resisted the desire to dig deeper. I’ve simply paused.
It didn’t mean I didn’t care. It actually meant the opposite. I was holding space. I was allowing energies to shift & settle so truths can be revealed vs. uncovered without the desire to fully understand how and why these outcomes arose to begin with. You know what? It helped me reevaluate my own standards of care with the same grace for myself.
The holidays are tough for many. We have all been through something. We have to remember that perfection is an illusion. Emotions are real whether their initial reasons for surfacing are valid or not. The only way to give care is to really understand the core of the issues. Until emotions pass, we aren’t equipped to face the core issues. Pushing for resolution immediately is bound to result in harsh divides. Let’s take each issue with caution this time of year. Let’s lean into grace a tad more than usual. Let’s bite our tongues just a hair and use the unspoken observations as a chance to sort our own hearts first.
Then, when ready, maybe let those things & people we “care about” show you what’s truly on their heart. My hope? Truth shows you exactly where the disconnect lies and how to swiftly reposition our care for others in a way that brings us all together harmoniously.
This is my wish for all of those I love and care for this holiday. Merry Christmas, Daily Feelers.
Nothing but Love,