Season’s Greetings, Everyone! The theme for this month is Caring, but it’s also the holiday season, so the words “Comfort and Joy” immediately came to my mind.
This time of the year isn’t easy for everyone, and at this time last year, I wasn’t feeling the whole “fa-la-la-la-la” vibe, and it certainly didn’t feel like “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. God Bless Andy Williams, though- he made it through last year’s holidays, even though I promptly forwarded past his most famous holiday song every single time it popped up on a playlist, lol!
Last Fall and Winter I was not in a great place. My husband left me (yes, that happened, for those of you who might not have known) and I was beside myself with an array of emotions that I’ll just describe as that- you can guess what some of those emotions were. I was at the pinnacle of discomfort in my life, so the words Comfort and Joy just did not exist in my mind- but they were given freely as gifts to me by those closest to me, and for that I am forever grateful. So, without going on much further in writing, I’m going to give you a list of the things that brought me comfort when I had none myself, and then explain the joy I felt- and feel- resulting from the list. There is no particular order to the list, I’m just listing them as they come to mind!
Comfort
- Daily phone and text check-ins, even when at times I was so physically and emotionally exhausted that I’d fall asleep during a call
- The times when I would run out of stuff, and a friend would just go out and leave me a bag of things that I needed, without any fanfare- just, “Hey Jen, I have a bag of goodies for you and I’ll leave it on the porch” I’m still using the facial moisturizer that she gave me and I tear up every morning when I put it on, because it reminds me that I’m loved.
- The random Amazon box that arrived one day. I didn’t order anything- but a friend did. A heart-shaped pillow was in the box, that was meant just for the purpose of comfort. In fact- it has a patch sewn on it that says “comfort” She sent it to me with a note saying, “ I wanted you to have this, because someone sent me one when I was going through a hard time”
- My family stepping in and changing my living space, so that it didn’t remind me of “what was” and letting me stay in my younger sister’s room when it was just too sad to be in my house, in my own bedroom.
- Friends taking me out to dinner- for distraction- and to make sure that I was eating. I wasn’t able to eat for about 2 and a half months because I was so upset.
- Invitations to stay overnight with friends and family. It was comforting to know that everyone was thoughtful enough to want to give me refuge from my regular surroundings during that most stressful period of time
- Surprise tickets to see one of my favorite Judy Garland impersonators (don’t judge-I LOVE Judy!), because as this friend said, “We both NEED this concert!” And at the time, we both really DID!
- My mother and friends who came to appearances with me when I had to go in-person. I never felt alone, and they always had my back
- The friend who, when they found out what had happened, looked me in the face and calmly said, “This happened to me when I was younger. Your friends and your faith are going to get you through this.”
- The friend who made it possible for me to visit my daughter this summer. I hadn’t seen her in over ten months at that point, and it had been killing me to go through everything that we had gone through and not be able to hold her, or see her in person. FaceTime is fantastic, but nothing beats the real thing. That visit was GLORIOUS
- The friend, who when I thanked them for their kind words, simply replied, “You’re family”
- The stuffed unicorn that my daughter left behind when she moved. I hugged that thing and cried every night, pretending that I was hugging her!
- The friends that took me out to dinner on what would have been my wedding anniversary, and gave me a hilarious evening, filled with love, gossip, a few mai-tais and delicious Chinese food
- The friend who gifted me two of her originally produced products that I had ordered from her in the past, as a show of friendship and compassion for what I was going through. Her gifts made me feel beautiful every day, even when I felt anything but
- A surprise invite to a new Broadway show- a serious mood boost!
- The friend who helped me with important paperwork, and also invited me to shows and other events, including a pre-Thanksgiving get together, which included lasagna and karaoke (I sang a Carpenters song- it was a lot of fun!)
Joy
As you see from the above list, I have the most wonderful, generous, caring, loving and thoughtful family and friends in the universe. That list could have gone on and on, but I didn’t want to bore you all! The point of that list is this: It’s not the physical things that were given to me that mean the most, although I appreciate them all. What is constant throughout that list is the repeated show of love, and generous outpouring of compassion that freely flowed during my most trying times. And the love and compassion continues now, and I can’t even begin to tell you what that means to me. That brings me joy. I have joy in the fact that: I am thought of, I am cared for, I am seen, I am heard, and I am loved. Even in the most truly difficult periods of my life, there was never a time when I was made to feel unworthy of any of the things I just listed, and I was consistently held up and supported by everyone I knew. Joy comes from love, and I felt and feel the love always- and I send it right back!
Now, getting back to the theme of Caring and tying it all together: Each of us has the ability to be a presence of comfort for one another, and there is no reason why we shouldn’t offer that without question at any time. Taking care of each other is what it’s all about, folks. Let’s be there for each other, and be a presence of comfort, and create some joy…
Happy Holidays. Love to each of you.