It’s funny how when you get to a place of true peace, the tests don’t end. The tactics
just change. It may feel like all negativity should just float away, but guess what—just
because you are doing the work, there are still others in and around your life who simply
aren’t, or who are at a different growth level than you are. So, what really happens whe
you’re Unbothered?
What I know to be true is when you set healthy boundaries and choose your peace and
stand firm in your why, you have a low tolerance for anything that is a fight against that
joy and love. The tests don’t stop. The people are still people. But how are you showing
up in these moments? I choose to show up in truth. Being unbothered, in my opinion,
doesn’t mean a lack of acknowledgment. For me, I can still get upset. I can still feel all
the warranted emotions that come with a lack of respect or consideration. However,
what Unbothered has become in my life is letting it go. I don’t have to sit in another
person’s lack of awareness. That is theirs to own. I don’t have to replay the story in my
mind. I can deal with it in the moment and let it go.
Let’s talk about the world of being Unbothered—because nothing is without
consequence. So, let’s get into the effects. Yes, some relationships will change or end
entirely. You will have to put saying “no” into practice. You will also need to become
comfortable in your own skin and love yourself in new ways. You will have to find
acceptance. (Acceptance doesn’t equate approval. It simply means that you see things
and people as they are.) You will need to stand firm and be ok with being alone
sometimes. It takes a different level of confidence to speak your truth when it goes
against the grain. Your kindness will be taken as a weakness at times. I have found in
those moments, leaning into grace is important. Remember, people choose their actions
and it is a reflection of who they are. Embrace that, and peace will follow. Every choice
has a consequence, an effect. I happily welcome short-term discomfort if it means long-
term peace. That makes me smile because it’s giving growth.
Setting boundaries is essential to get to this place of being Unbothered. Some
challenges require a conversation. In some cases, a laugh and a walk outside does it.
And then, there will be times that you truly don’t even do anything because it’s so
beneath your vibration that it deserves nothing. I have muted notifications on the group
chat. I have changed my mind. I have taken the trip. I have not attended the event. I
showed up. I have left. I have used my voice. I have deleted the text. I have sent the
message. Above all, you do what is needed to stay in your light, honor your self-respect
and protect your peace.
Be love. Give love. You know when it’s real.
Xo,
Tiffany Reneé
