“God may not come when you want, but He’s always right on time” If I can sum up one simple, yet impactful quote that encompasses the many journeys and adversities of my life, THIS would be it!
Hello my name is Mary Kim Farkas and I am the mother of a nine year old boy with Down Syndrome. I am one truly blessed and lucky mommy to have been gifted with my son, Desiderio Kwan Farkas, which means strong desired one.
I often get asked, “What is your story?” Though I know the answer so clear today, back in 2013, it took me a long time to figure out and it is simply this. The very same thing that paralyzed me with fear is the same thing that has accelerated my joys and enlightened my spirit. What once was a fetus with Down Syndrome who would have a limited life with limited abilities is now my son who is full of life and has unlimited possibilities.
Desiderio Kwan Farkas is the light in my soul, the joy in my heart, and the inspiration behind my fight. Desi’s courage, strength, and persistence continues to amaze me every day. He is more incredible than all the dreams I’ve had about him. Words cannot be found for the love I have for him. I know Desi was selected for me and now it’s my job to advocate for him and his community.
I say this today, on World Down Syndrome Day, with full conviction, confidence, and certainty… however … it is not how I always felt and what I have always believed. I am a 70’s baby and did not grow up knowing much about the special needs community. My only experience was during our lunch periods. Imagine an entire floor of your school building packed with tons of kids eating lunch and conversating loud and suddenly the ENTIRE floor would instantly become silent as the waves of tiny whispers encompassed us. Without even turning around, you knew the “special needs” kids could be seen on one side of the building, all single filed, all against the wall, all walking with their head down. We didn’t know who they were, what they looked like, their names, the color of their eyes, their voices.. literaly NOTHING about them.
THIS visual still terrorizes and haunts my spirits today. Some point in high school I decided to not smoke, do drugs, take any medicine that may impact my body in a negative way so I can ‘control’ the outcome of my five kids I was planning to have. I was petrified of a Down Syndrome Diagnosis. At the age of 14/15, I thought I knew all the answers as our teen selves often do. (lol)
With this mindset, I continued to live my life with this mindset. Flash forward, I am pregnant at age 39. And I know some of you elder mommies know, at 35, our doctors suggest us to take a multitude of tests for both our & our babies health and safety. For me, I was the most euphoric mommy in the universe and I happily took every test because nothing could deter my overjoyed state of being! “I’M FINALLY PREGNANT!!!” After twenty-three plus years, seven trials and a miscarriage – God has now blessed me with my prayers!
At twelve weeks in, I took the 1st test, Nuchal Translucency Test. This test measures the area of tissue at the back of an unborn baby’s neck. The measuring thickness helps assess the risk for Down Syndrome and other genetic problems in the baby. The tests came back positive. The 2nd opinion came back positive. And every single available test, invasive and non-invasive came back positive. I took all the tests, some twice at separate offices praying they were all wrong.
I had six weeks to make my decision to abort or keep my baby per NYS laws. I spent the entire six weeks mourning the dreams I had do the baby growing inside of me because the “perfect” baby I wanted was no longer “perfect” (Mourning as in full blown ugly crying every single day from the moment I got off the train from work until I woke the next day).
For six weeks, I studied, researched, educated myself and talked to families who had a child with Down Syndrome. For six weeks, I soul searched deep so I could break down all the stigmas, misconceptions, and false narratives so I could become the best mommy possible for my child. ONLY by God’s Grace and Mercy was I able to lean on my faith to help me muscle through this period.
Because I’ve been blessed to experience the power of prayer and how God truly can make anything happen, was I able to fully find a ways to trust where He was taking me. I left it ALL in His hands! My decision to keep my pregnancy was the terrorizing thought I could not shake; “How could I EVER pray to God EVER again for ANYTHING and expect Him to give it to me, if I told God to take your child back, he’s not what I deemed “perfect”.
Nine years later, Desiderio Kwan Farkas is EXTRAORDINARILY PERFECT beyond words!
Nine years ago, today, on March 21st, World Down Syndrome Day, I nervously and boastfully announced to my Facebook page the following poem I wrote to introduce my son to the world, who was born with Down Syndrome….
Today, on World Down Syndrome Day, 3.21.22.
I honor and celebrate my son; Desiderio Kwan Farkas.
I shed a tear today, not for the heart wrenching news that haunted my soul for weeks; but for all the joyous moments he will bring me and all those around him.
I am hopeful today, not for the perfect son; but for the extraordinary person who will make a difference in this world he couldn’t wait to be a part of.
I am no longer ignorant today for he has already taught me the importance of pure and honest knowledge.
I am no longer fearful today for the boundaries others will set for him as I know he will be surrounded by loved ones who will inspire and encourage him.
My life is enriched far greater today than yesterday for the change in my life my son has already brought me.
On 10.7.12, I vowed that day, today, & every day in the future; that it is
“A Time to Celebrate a Life… Not to Mourn the Possible Limits of a Blessed Soul”…
My world has changed far greater than I imagined & yet it has only begun.
I am grateful for the life the Lord has blessed me with as I was the chosen Mommy to make a difference in his life.
I believe in the pureness of faith and knowing this is where I am supposed to be.
I know he was brought to me for a reason. A reason that has yet to be fully revealed.
The love I have for my son is far less than the love he will continue to give me.
I stand taller and stronger, than ever before, as I am honored and proud to have been trusted with this little life called,
Desiderio Kwan; which means strong desired one.
Mary Kim Farkas is a single mommy to her nine-year-old son, Desiderio with Down Syndrome. Desiderio is the light in her soul, the joy in her heart, and the inspiration behind her fight. Losing her birth parents at a young age did not deter her in believing that love can make the world go ‘round. Mary Kim is a champion of abuse by people she trusted as a child. Her drive, determination, and belief that this is not the way life is supposed to be has allowed her to carry on because she had to. Growing up in an Italian American household instilled strong family values. The power of prayer in one’s life was learned at a very young age. It is the core reason why the power of faith is strongly rooted into her heart, soul, and purpose in life today.
Mary Kim Farkas’s gift is to see the light and the silver lining in any situation as she firmly believes tests become your testimony. What one may perceive these are scenarios to break you, Mary Kim thrives on knowing we are given these not to break us but build us to be the person God created us to be.
Mary Kim Farkas is living a purpose driven life with integrity to aspire and with intent. Sharing her testimonies of life to not only break generational curses, stigmas, and abuse, but mainly to let others know they are not alone and that they too can decide to become a champion despite the adversities they endured. Mary Kim is also passionate on advocating for her son’s Down Syndrome and Differently-abled community.
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