Hey Daily Feelers,
Can you believe we’ve made it to SEPTEMBER of 2021? Can you believe we are STILL trying to wrap our heads around this insanity we call “COVID”?! Ugh, don’t worry, this isn’t another blog complaining about the times. Nope,just a little Monday motivation for anyone else feeling defeated.
You see, I was driving home the other night, and a song came on the radio. Now, let me set the scene for you…I’m driving home from a 14hr day of being on set. I am tired. I am WORKED to the bone. Literally, all my bones ache. After a few weeks of my health taking a huge hit, I was finally back on my feet and trying to play catch-up by putting in these brutal long days for nearly 9 days straight. As a freelancer, we take the work as it comes and I had agreed to 2 projects simultaneously to get me where I felt I wanted to be financially.
Surprisingly, the work all got done and all the boxes of must haves got checked. But my body, whew, it got wrecked. If I’m being transparent, so has my mind. I had problem-solved until my brain had used every possible inch of itself. While everything got done, it wasn’t perfect. It was probably two of my most messy shoots I’d ever slapped together. Why? Well, that’s what the blog is about.
The “messy” parts of the job came from the fact that these projects were built by a collaboration of people over zooms. We did our best to tackle each hurdle as a team, but when our boots were on the ground side by side, I’d say we definitely didn’t have our “sync” on. However, no one backed down and we stumbled over that finish line in record time. “Victory” had prevailed. Yayyyyy (in a small sarcastic tone).
Ok ok, so back to the point…as I’m driving home after this “success” I’m thinking about all the issues that came up. What went wrong? Why? Who did I offend? Am I ever going to get hired again? Etc etc….and this song came on that just checked me in the most adorable way… the song went like this…
You can’t be everybody’s cup of tea
Some like it bitter, some like it sweet
Nobody’s everybody’s favorite
So you might as well just make it how you please
‘Cause you can’t be everybody’s cup of tea
As it played, I felt tears on my cheek. Now, I’m sure that wasn’t Kacey Musgraves’ goal..to make me cry but man did it open the flood gates. I boo-hooed the whole way home like my favorite dog had died. Then, I screamed into the empty void of my car to round-out my freak out. Why? Because I think I finally just had it.
Since this pandemic started, I’ve mastered working from home, juggled homeschooling, moved, divorced, co-parented, fell in love again, blended families, AND learned to accept being a “single mom”. Yes, I’m still standing. Yes, I’m still employed. Yes, my kids are happily back in school and work is definitely available to say the least. I’ve been so focused on surviving change, I hadn’t taken a moment to just lose it. The optimist in me had found all the silver linings. I’d repeat my mantras of “forward ever. Backward never.” over and over. I told myself that I could do anything, and I believed it. But doing everything always comes with a price. I had just gotten handed the bill for my lack of self-care. I didn’t like the check one bit. And that was very ok.
After I parked and wiped my face, I realized why the song hit me so hard. Before March 2020, I had told myself I’d take it easy. I’d stop saying “yes” to everyone’s requests for help and only do what was best for ME. I’d “take it easy” HA!!! . For 18 months, NOTHING has been…”easy”. It’s been a lot of butting heads, forced opinions, quick pivots, and LOTS of compromise with people whose viewpoints make my stomach churn. None of it was pretty. BUT…here I was…still breathing…going home to my apartment, my cats, my kids, and my man…bruised yes, but not broken, and I deserved that 5 minute ugly cry to just release the pent up bullshit I’d been collecting for far too long.
So, this is my Monday pep talk…
If you find yourself listening to the lyrics a little more closely this week, take the long way home a time or two and just belt it out. It’s hitting your heart strings for a reason. For me, I needed to hear that it’s ok if things aren’t perfect. I really can’t be everybody’s cup of tea right now. Luckily, the only tea I have to drink is my own. Other people’s opinions of how I manage my chaos is just that…an opinion. I have to stay true to my heart. Give it all I got, then let it be. If it’s meant for me, it will stay. If it’s not, let it pass. There is nothing in this life worth more than peace of mind. And when in doubt, turn on some music, roll down the window, and let it out. Then, regroup and step forward.
I hope you all have a fantastic week.
Nothing but love,
JB Boutelle has worked in “The Biz” for almost a decade, yet she’s somehow managed to keep her feet firmly on the ground. Her altruistic spirit aims to evoke your Inner Phoenix and encourage readers to take the difficult leaps in life, so you can continue to grow.