When I started writing this blog, I wanted to share some of the adventures of being a father. Discuss my boy’s views on life and their personality development. I knew the day would come when my kids would start to understand my warped sense of humor.
One thing that my son Cameron clearly has discovered in life, and gets it clearly from his mother (ok it was me), is his absolute love of farts and farting. He enjoys talking about them all day long.
It was destiny from when he was first born. At one of his first pediatrician appointments, the doctor said to Lorelei and I that a newborn baby farts about 20 times a day. I promptly pfftted at that and said, “Amateur…. I’ve farted 20 times since we have been in this room”. My wife was mad at first but the doctor quickly asked if he could pull my finger. We all laughed.
Last week Greenwich schools had their February break. So for the whole week, it was just Cameron, Lorelei, and myself at home. So on Tuesday, I told him the story about the time his mother came into the kitchen and their caveman counting on the chalkboard and mommy asked daddy what this was all about? I said I was counting how many times I farted in a day…. and she erased all my hard work…… the audacity of the woman.
So on Wednesday, Cameron decided to start counting his farts for the day. I thought it was a cute game until I was on a business call and he comes running in and screams, ”I JUST FARTED FOR THE 27th time today”.. then again saying 28.
Cameron has really been loving this whole fart thing. My wife, not so much. The other night he ripped one at the table and starts giggling, he’s looking for a high five or fist bump from me. My wife was extremely mad, I could tell. I was trying hard not to laugh and put my fist bump out there. She scolded him and went into the kitchen, and I promptly said that was not nice. I said this as i high-fived him.
Another moment recently that went over like a fart in church (no pun intended), was when Cameron was taking a bath and screamed for Lorelei to come to him. She goes in there thinking something was wrong. She looks at him and he says watch… he farts and screams “LOOK AT ALL THE BUBBLES”. She wasn’t happy and once again he throws me under the bus – “Daddy said he likes to try and count the bubbles when he farts in the pool or tub”. At this point, I’m standing right there…. I shrugged and said she looked nice. Didn’t work.
Cameron has also picked up on another one of my favorite things to do. He now asks his mother to come over or he will go over to her and give her a hug. Then fart.
“He learned this from you…” is a very frequently said quote in our household.
I can just picture anyone that I went to elementary school with that is reading this, they are saying OMG his father did the same thing when we were in school. And I did…
It’s something we all do, some people are just a little more embarrassed by it than others. Like the other day, I was with a female friend, let’s call her Debbie L. While online to get an iced coffee (seriously who the fuck gets an iced coffee in January?) she mentions she is gassy. I say who cares let it fly. She laughed and said that it’s gross, and her friend Monica does it all the time. I told her I would take the blame for her if she did it. She farts, and I immediately start sniffing and look at her and say out loud – “did you fart?” We laughed again and I paid for the drinks.
That’s what true friends are for….
Native New Yorker, now living in Connecticut. Husband, and father of two amazing boys. Kidney transplant recipient, and a big supporter of organ donation #donatelife. Mortgage banker, but not by choice. In my free time, I enjoy golf, reading (especially presidential biographies), and finding that hole-in-the-wall restaurant that has great food.