We’re all getting older. Just today I broke yesterday’s personal record for days alive. We all say “back in my day” frequently. It sounds old. We used to laugh at people that said this.
I remember when I was a caddy, and adults would ask how much I made for a loop. I would say $60. Immediately, they would say, “back when I caddied, I made $6”. Yeah, but back then you could buy lunch, a hooker, and cigarettes for $6.
I know you have all seen the social media posts about when we played as kids, we went home when the street lamps went on. My kids today are on iPads at that hour. They will never know the thrill it is to swat fireflies with a badminton racket.
Part of me started thinking about this while I was recently reading Curious George to my youngest son Brady. Now before I go on, I have to say the “man with the yellow hat” is by far the biggest fuckin idiot. I mean call the ASPCA on this clown. In one book they visit the aquarium. He says to George, “wait here while I get the tickets”, you can clearly see a bunch of parents on the line with their kids… why the fuck is he leaving his monkey on the side? Is he trying to hit on some hottie in the line? Don’t you think the monkey would be a good wingman? Just put the damn monkey on your shoulder. Seriously. He does this bullshit in every book.
Sorry for the rant there.
But the books I have been reading are all classic kids’ books. Where the phones have cords and my son is like what is that? He actually asked if you can still play games on a phone like that.
How do I answer that? I could say, “no son, back in the day we had to sit in one spot as we spoke on the phone and we didn’t know who was even calling:… maybe a little too deep for a soon to be four-year-old.
My generation has now become the people we hated when we were kids. I knew this years ago when I called the police on someone who was cleaning off their car and throwing the snow into a clean street. Total tattletale move.
We now start to say things like, “back in the day” to our kids, and our obnoxious happy-to-be there coworkers.
I have caught myself saying, “when I started working I was making X”. I felt like I was talking about when I was a share cropper in the south.
I get mad when places raise the price of coffee. Everything seems more and more expensive these days. My fucking cable and streaming is more expensive than the first car that I was making payments on.
Nothing is free for me these days. I pick up Cameron at school every day now. I asked him to run and hug me when he sees me. He said, “only if you buy me something at the store”. I agreed, and said, “we can hit the five and dime store after school”. He said, “what store???”.
One day I will try to explain to my kids that I was a paperboy, and people used to read a crazy item called a newspaper and wait kids, they got the news the next day in the afternoon.
My son’s now look forward to Prime Day on Amazon. It’s like Christmas in October. Cameron was mad that the stuff wouldn’t get here for three days. All I got for myself was a new electric toothbrush, and I’m excited about that.
I understand that times have changed. But there has never been as big of a generational gap as there is today.
So, if there are parents out there reading this, please tell me you feel the same way? Please tell me that your kids know what a lego is (and not that fucking toy that you step on with bare feet)?
Until next time, when I’ll be slightly older, more miserable and still not showering daily.
Native New Yorker, now living in Connecticut. Husband, and father of two amazing boys. Kidney transplant recipient, and a big supporter of organ donation #donatelife. Mortgage banker, but not by choice. In my free time, I enjoy golf, reading (especially presidential biographies), and finding that hole in the wall restaurant that has great food.