I’ve been reflecting on this quarantine and all that has happened in my life since March 13th.  I want to tell you why I think – no, I know – this quarantine happened JUST for me.

The Universe heard my subconscious needing to sit still.

I just wanted to apologize for this long ass quarantine.  I am apologizing because I honestly believe that this shut down occurred specifically for me.

Seriously!  Listen.  The universe knew I needed a sit down. Let me tell you why.

I’ve been working since I was 14.  I worked as a volunteer in a hospital and at 15 my cousin doctored my birth certificate so I could start working at McDonald’s.

Since then I have ALWAYS worked. As I got older, sometimes, I worked two jobs.  At 30, I worked full time, went back to school full-time, and sometimes during the summer sessions, I took on a full-time school course load.  For those of you who know what a full-time course load in the summer is, it’s pretty intense.

Right before this pandemic, I was working full time.  I also bartended most weekends.  I planned different events at the bar to draw in business.  I was blogging.  Helped with my grandkids.  Supported friends who owned small businesses.  Worked at maintaining family relationships, as well as friendships.  OH! I was attending political events as part of my position on a local city advisory board.  I mean, I was nonstop. 

As far as I can remember, I was always looking for the next best thing workwise, but I also loved being busy.  Why? I am not sure.  That will be another blog.

Even right before quarantine, I was planning my birthday (BIG deal), a huge pop up shop with over 15 vendors, blogging, promoting, you name it.

Are you guys exhausted reading this? Because I am.  But the crazy part is, that I didn’t realize till quarantine how tired I was.

And then I got laid off, and I am not going to lie, I cried.  I was upset for like a day and then my daughter said, “What are you sad about?” I was like, “I don’t know!” And she was like, “Enjoy.  You are blessed.  You are collecting unemployment.  You still have health insurance.  You get to spend time with your grandbabies.”

And so, I sat and enjoyed.

Boy, did I enjoy!  I was staying up late watching, catching up on all kinds of shows.  I can’t tell you how much Netflix binge-watching went on. 

I cooked.  I did a lot of self-loving facials, body scrubs, lighting candles.  I worked out.  I slept in.  I did yoga. I watched Joel Olsteen on Sundays (my church).  I saw my grandkids at least twice a week, sometimes more. 

I started a weekly live session on Instagram, where I created this community of like-minded folks willing to come on there every week and enjoy a cocktail with me, while we talked about sooooo many different topics.  People in that community started to bond with each other.  I mean, talk about amazing.

I decluttered my home, and completed some DIY home projects.  I bought an air fryer and rediscovered cooking. I love to cook!!!

I reconnected with my 21-year-old daughter, who prior to quarantine, I barely saw due to our schedules and her being 21.  LOL!!!

I discovered my old writings, read books, meditated and did yoga.

And now with reintegration, I am like, “Whoa!”  I am scared.  I am scared because I am trying to figure out how to continue doing all the things I discovered and loved during quarantine.

Listen, I acknowledge, see, and feel for those people who were not as blessed as me, and were struggling physically and spiritually through quarantine.  I also know of so many people who got sick and didn’t make it. 

In their name, I offer up a prayer.

I am sorry, my heart breaks for them and wish they had the same experience as I did.

Quarantine for me was the universes way of saying, “Hey! Girl! Slow the fuck down!  Sit. Be still.  Enjoy.”

Most importantly, I was recently single at the beginning of quarantine, after being cheated on a second time.  I truly believe I was about to do some damage out there.  LOL!!!  Just be out and break some hearts!!

And again, quarantine said, “Nah, girl!  That’s trouble.  Let’s sit a minute.  Let’s rest a minute.  Let’s be still.”

Though living through this quarantine has been unreal, surreal, even kind of mystical, I have to say, I really believe it happened for me.  Just for me.

My hope is that many of you also feel the same way, and can come up with an endless list of why quarantine was a blessing for you.

If you can’t look at the silver lining, then I don’t know what to tell you. Because at the end of the day, there was a silver lining for all of us.

Thank you, Universe, for sitting my ass down – for a spell.

I am a 50-year old Latina divorcee who has been on a spiritual journey for, yikes, a really long time. Though I am not where I want to be, each day I do get closer to who I am meant to me.

I co-raised two young ladies and am a grandmother of two spunky, smart and funny kids – Max and Esme.

Education has been my niche for the last 20 years and I don’t know why. I wish someone had given me a career survey in high school or college to realize that #1- I am NOT a morning person and #2- I don’t really like kids, not even my own. So, I am searching for my passion. Not sure what that is yet. But there are a few things I am exploring, writing being one of them (that’s why I am here).

I have issues with commitment, not so much relationships but committing to my goals, putting in the work and seeing things through. But I did commit to making my 50’s the best decade ever. So far so good. I love yoga, traveling and writing; but mostly wine. Yes! I love wine.

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