So here we are, almost through with the first month of 2020. I made no New Years’ resolutions. I just promised myself to be the same asshole I have been for the last 47 years on this earth.

No real stories right now. I’m just going to give you some random thoughts that are going through my head. My views of the world right now. Not in any order, just stuff that I think about as I’m watching the bullshit, or not paying attention on a work call or when my wife is speaking to me, and I have tuned her out. Which is often. As my good friend “Kelly C.M” says, I have “selective hearing”.

  • The Netflix show “You” is great and underrated. Penn Badgley is great. Watch it. Season 1 is better than season 2.
  • My wife fell hook line and sinker for Cameron’s “I’m sick routine” this week. I saw right through it. He still got to stay home and eat candy and ice cream all day. I was insanely jealous.
  • I now think Kylie (Kardashian) is the hottest. Sorry, Kourtney.
  • When you think about it, about 25% of the social media posts are made when someone is sitting on the toilet. Think about that the next time you are scrolling through Facebook.
  • I have zero interest in the Oscars or any entertainment award show.  Watched Gervais rip into these overpaid dipshits and then turned it off.  At least athletes work hard to perfect their craft.
  • I “really” love seeing people make out in public.
  • I thought the Republicans impeaching Bill Clinton was a bad move. I think the Democrats are doing the same thing here.
  • Trader Joe’s can do no wrong, in my eyes.
  • I might be the worst dancer ever.  It is something every white man should admit to at least once in his lifetime.
  • TLC has the worst reality TV shows. It’s like the worst people in America. But they are so addictive and 90-day fiancé should be seen by all.
  • The next casualty to technology is Radio and DJ’s. Who really listens to regular radio these days? I actually do listen to the radio. I listen to the news.
  • Most people plug in their phones in the car. If your car doesn’t allow you to plug in your phone, please stop reading this blog and go clean out your outhouse.
  • If you are friends with someone on Facebook but not really “friends”, and you see that they checked into the same place as where you are at, do you find them and say hello??? Do you “check-in” and see if they search for you?
  • Someone needs to invent a donut stuffed with a chili dog.
  • I hate being the only one in a store or restaurant.
  • People that complain about the weather probably didn’t get laid in the last few days.
  • Tony Shaloub is an American treasure. He should be in more shows. If he was in a show where he just sat there and ate cornflakes, I would watch it.
  • I always think the cashier at the grocery store is thinking, “Boy, this guy eats like shit”.
  • I feel like I’m part of a new family now that I own a Subaru. I am pulling up to fellow Subaru owners at lights and winking at them. This might not end well.
  • This winter has been much warmer than usual. Maybe global warming is real.
  • In the last year, I have had three clients complain about me at work. They were all senior citizens. They just don’t get my sarcasm, I guess.
  • I might have to say this every month in my blog: I love amazon prime. It just makes my life so much easier. I can see in the future that people will be blaming Amazon for their high credit card debt. Just like when fatasses blamed McDonald’s for their weight problems.

Sorry. I was rude there….. Overweight people.

  • America needs more paid vacation days. Think about this…after Presidents’ Day, for the next six months, there are only three holidays from work. I think I mentioned this in a previous blog. But I was speaking with Lorelei about it today. She gave me a really dirty look. I disturbed her texting…. the audacity of me.
  • I can’t believe that Brad and Jennifer hung out backstage at the SAG awards!!!!!
  • Back to Amazon, I just got new work socks delivered. I was actually wondering when they were going to get here. So, I looked online and it said they were delivered today. I immediately ran to the mailbox, and they were there. I had a slight boner…
  • I hate it when people say that they watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. While others say they will watch it for the halftime show. This year J-LO is performing (picture me rolling my eyes). She has no talent…
  • Every man should own a set of satin pajamas.
  • Every man should get a mani-pedi every now and then.
  • I graduated high school 30 years ago. I feel like I’m still hip.
  • Every now and then I wish I had telepathic superpowers.
  • 90’s sitcoms are not aging well. Try watching a few episodes of Friends. Trust me you will understand.
  • Speaking of the 90s. Have you ever watched an old movie again and thought about when you first saw it? How great it was? Who you saw it with? As much as I bash the entertainment industry, I still feel that TV and movies can bring us closer together than any social media website/app.

Bye, for now, boys and girls. Remember to keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Michael Stange

Native New Yorker, now living in Connecticut. Husband, and father of two amazing boys. Kidney transplant recipient, and a big supporter of organ donation #donatelife. Mortgage banker, but not by choice. In my free time, I enjoy golf, reading (especially presidential biographies), and finding that hole in the wall restaurant that has great food.

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