Resolutions.  Ugh.  It is the season of dreaded resolutions.  When we are supposed to embrace the new beginnings, the passing of one year to the next.  Or in this case, one decade to the next.  We are supposed to run into the New Year singing Auld Lang Syne and with expectations of greatness.  Of achieving goals, and reaching for the stars and not wasting that “new year, new beginnings” moment.  Well, I call Bullshit.  I honestly feel like this is the worst time to make changes.  That is way too much expectation to put on oneself… and usually, everyone is watching… NO BUENO!  For me, anytime I made the decision to change, I just changed.  When ready, it happens.  And not a moment before.  If I had no motivation to go to the gym on December 31, or the last 364 other days, what makes me believe that this will miraculously change with the arrival of January? 

Change happens when you are ready.  When you are willing to lean into what is uncomfortable, or painful, or hard.  The energy, and desire to do that can’t be marked by a day on a calendar.  It is a mindset that you need.  Dedication.  It can’t be forced.  So stop putting so much pressure on yourself.  We are not machines, to be scheduled and operated systematically.  Well, maybe we are a little.  But we are all on our own schedule, to our own destination, on our own time.

For my resolution, I resolve not to try and change a thing.  At least not January 1st.  Maybe it will be March 4th, or May 26th… or even December 4, 2020.   Sure, there are things I could change.  Should change.  But the reality is, I am not strong enough, rested enough, brave enough, or prepared enough to conquer any of them right now.  It is the coldest, darkest time of the year and not motivating to anyone.  I sure as hell am not getting up early to drive, in the dark to the gym.  I’m going to wake up as late as possible and drink my coffee and wait as long as possible to get off my ass and shower for work.  I’m not going to meal prep healthy meals for the week and package them up and load my fridge with calorie free healthy food.  I’m going to forget to pack my lunch and eat a grilled cheese from the cafeteria.  I’m not going to go back to my therapist to work on all of my emotional baggage, because New Year, new deductible!

BUT, it is ok.  And I will be ready to do all of those things.  Soon.  And I know it.  But not yet.  Not because the calendar, and society, and some stupid old tradition says I have too.  SO THERE!  I will do it when I am ready, and not a moment before.

So if you committed to a resolution, and are still on track… Good on you!  I applaud your success and truly wish you continued glory towards your goal.  If you committed, and have already gone off the rails, I offer you a hug, and a reassuring word that it just wasn’t time.  It’s ok.  When you are ready for change, change will come to you.  Just like I feel it coming for me…. But I am not there yet.

Happy New Year and all that Jazz.  Welcome, 2020.  I will walk in to you the same old, slightly pudgy, out of shape, emotional hot mess that I was last year.  And you will love me just the same and maybe more for it.  Because the New Year is just another part of the continuing rotation of Mother Earth and we all know, a Mother’s love is unconditional.

Joan Poirier is an Empath, a goddess, a woman, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend. She is you, and she is me. Just a real woman, embracing her age and her wisdom, and not afraid of opening the dam and making some waves during her short time on the wild ride of life. She is on an ever-growing quest to live better, do better, be better and taking all the lumps that go with it.

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