I remember the day I received the email from Janis informing all the bloggers that we had to submit our word for 2020 to The Daily Feels. That particular day my “Daily Feels” was less than desirable. I had a lot racing through my mind and the last thing I needed was to figure out my word for 2020. Oh, I had several words that came to mind, but they were all inappropriate if you get my drift. Oh, Janis, dear Janis, I thought; don’t make me choose a word because it ain’t gonna be good. lol
There was enough stress playing Ring Around the Rosie in my brain that I didn’t need to add another self-inflicted stress to the game. I knew I had a lot to do in the upcoming weeks and I was afraid if I put this task to the side it would get forgotten. I decided the first word that popped into my head, whatever it was, would be my word for 2020. I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and tried to open a passage way for an appropriate word to find it’s way in. Bingo, a word came through. The word was “surrender”, which was exactly what I felt like doing. I wanted to just lay back and cave in. Perfect word, lame excuse. Nonetheless, that was my word. The question was why?
Surrender – a word of giving up and of weakness. That about summed up how I’d been feeling. But why was I feeling like that? The answer was simple. I was allowing everything that was happening around me, to consume me. Things that were out of my control were controlling me. All the negative emotions that I was entertaining were destroying my inner peace. I had no control of what surrounded me. I did, however, have control over how I dealt with it all. At that moment, (once again, I get these moments a lot; I’m a work in progress ha, ha) I realized I was surrendering the wrong things. I was giving up all the positive things, and holding on for dear life to all the negative things. I was reliving past experiences and instead of looking back and seeing the survivor in us alI, I was unintentionally regressing into victim mode and taking other casualties with me. I know better than this but I was allowing myself to focus on where weakness comes from not where strength is found.
Those negative emotions that I had been focusing on recently, were meant to remind me of how far I came. They were meant to show me how trusting in the unknown benefited me each time I surrendered my fears over. These negative emotions I’d been feeling were tools that were not mine to keep. I was holding on to the wrong things and letting go of what was right within me. I was trying to control the world around me by forfeiting the world within me. Wow, I didn’t see that coming.
Opening myself up to the word surrender, gave me new depth to what it means to surrender. Surrender is only detrimental when we give up the best of our self. Unfortunately, that’s what most of us do. We forfeit the good for the bad. We don’t intentionally do it. We do it out of a need to survive on our terms. Those terms are not always beneficial. We have to train ourselves to release and surrender our fears. That’s how surrender becomes a powerful tool in life.
When I think about each time I let go of personal fear, I see the strength that came from it. I also see that when I choose to hold on to things that ran the course of purpose they weakened my ability to move forward. Not only did I see this in myself but I saw how others do the same to themselves. It’s a means of survival in the poorest sense of the word.
We are afraid to chip away at what we think protects us from pain and suffering. To avoid pain, we forfeit much of what brings us peace. We surrender opportunities that bring happiness and fulfillment without full awareness of what we are doing. How often have we missed out on positive interaction because we are set in our ways with no room for expansion? We surrender the wrong things. I’ve seen people who were too closed to experiencing new people in their life surrender the fear and find friendships that have carried them through difficult times. I’ve also seen others compromise new-found identities because they were afraid they were losing themselves in the process. We don’t lose who we are, we enhance who we are each time we become open to positive changes in our life. We’re afraid to comprise because with think we are compromising ourselves. Learning what to surrender and how to do it takes nothing from us. It gives us freedom which strengthens who we are.
In retrospect, that email at the most inopportune time turned out to be at the most opportune time. It was exactly what I needed to put me back on track. I didn’t choose that word, it was chosen for me. It was an answer to a prayer for guidance in moving forward. In order for any of us to move forward, we must surrender what holds us back so that we become the conquerer and not the prisoner. In order to reach the goal of inner peace, we must change our strategy and come out stronger because we learned the power of surrender.
Along with my word, I have also nicknamed the upcoming decade as “The Soaring Twenties”. Get it. The 1920s were known as the “Roaring Twenties” so I decided to give the 2020’s a similar-sounding identity. lol. It’s time for us to take a leap of faith and soar above what tries to hold us down. Let the 2020’s become known as the decade where people discovered that healing themselves, heals the world. When we feel good about ourselves we shed light onto others. We look for the goodness within to shared, not hidden away. We prioritize, educate ourselves in truth and seek guidance to follow paths that help rather than hinder. This is how change occurs.
Surrender and soar, so that each of us can make a positive change that can help make the world the place it was always meant to be ;-).
Thanks, Janis, for that email. It inspired me to look at what surrendering has done for me in the past. Each time I surrendered to what was right, I was strengthened. Surrendering is never easy. We are constantly tested. I know I’ve fallen countless times. My perseverance guides me through the murky waters and assures me it was not for naught. The benefits always outweigh the challenges. One day I hope that I can totally surrender so that I may live life as it was intended to be lived.️
Footnote
A “Trustful” Surrender awakens us to the ability to shed all the unnecessary protective gear we have been carrying on our backs. Trustful surrender doesn’t defeat us. It frees us from the burdens that weaken us and in return teaches us how to soar away from the “battlefield” into a new realm of possibilities
Married 44 years to my hubby whose purpose in life is to prevent me from getting through the “Pearly Gates”. Mother of two, Nanna of four loving granddaughters and retired secretary aka administrative assistant. I went to the University of Hard Knocks where I received my Doctorate. My thesis is titled: How To Survive Life’s Trials Without Killing Yourself or Someone Else. I live by the belief that when life throws you a curve, learn from it rather than use it against yourself. Faith and humor are my survival kit. Appreciate the simple things for they are the true treasures of life.