Pink …whatever color you want!
Before I proceed with my post, I just want to say Happy 19th Anniversary to my husband, Anthony- Here’s to 100 more! Love you!
So…Here we are, mid-Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I don’t know about you, but everything around is pink-and to me, pink is NOT what I think about when I think about breast cancer- or, I should say- Pink is not what I associate with Breast Cancer.
Pink is pretty. Breast cancer is not. Pink is light and feminine and happy. Breast cancer strips you of all that. Yet, October comes along every year, and pink is all around, and I guess it works somewhat, because when people see pink, they automatically think Breast Cancer Awareness. But just like Cyndi Lauper, I’m going to show you my “True Colors” of breast cancer that I experienced.
Black: At the moment I heard the diagnosis, my whole world went dark. What in the holy fuck did the doctor just tell me?! I felt plunged into a vast sea of nothing, where I was just all alone, with the words of the doctor swirling around me. It was dark and frightening.
Blue: For the tears that came. I have cancer. Why was this happening? How am I going to get through it? Haven’t I gone through enough shit? How do I tell my family? So many questions, and so much sadness for the unknown future ahead.
Red: For the anger that followed. I mean WTF, universe?! W.T.F.
Red, Blue, Yellow-all the colors of the Wonder Woman logo: Because, shit- I was a WARRIOR, who was gonna kick the SHIT outta this!
Green: For envy, because this was a horrible time for me to go out of commission (not that there is ever a good time). Our theater group was putting on Mame, and I wanted to play Agnes Gooch SO BADLY- and I couldn’t accept a role, because I was unsure at that time if I would need chemo or not. Throw in a little red again, because that really pissed me off! Green also goes for the thousands of dollars in bills we had after surgery, chemo, prescriptions, head wraps, foods I could eat, and a subsequent surgery to remove my ovaries. Insurance, though good, only goes so far.
Ocean Blue: For the FLOOD of love, support, help, and care I received from everyone I knew. It was needed. So needed. Friends, neighbors, and especially my family really stepped up and got me through. It truly takes a village, which is why I will NEVER hesitate to be a member of someone else’s village when needed.
Orange and Yellow: For the warmth of the love and support that surrounded me, like a giant hug.
So you see- Pink is pretty, but my experience with Breast Cancer has been more like Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! And, even without dealing with cancer, life is like that. Colors swirling around, constantly changing as we experience different things.
Go Pink for a Cure- Save the Tatas- Paint the Town Pink- But don’t be afraid to show your true colors along the way.
PS: Make sure that whatever Breast Cancer fund you donate to goes to research- and not into a CEO’s pocket…
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Jennifer Angarano Ricci is a wife, mother & creative soul-searcher. She is a musician, artist, and baker, and runs her home business Baked By Jen, in addition to running her local community theater group. She loves to sing, create and help others and tries to connect all three passions whenever possible.