Hey, Feelers!  When I started writing for The Daily Feels, I was known as:  Ms. Happy, Alive and Built to Survive.  I took you through my cancer treatments, and I was always as real as it gets.  Lots of gratitude was involved, and lots of positivity- because that’s how I got through- and I didn’t fake any of it!  But- I DID shield a lot of you from the shitty times, and not because I was ashamed of them, or afraid of what you may think (Ain’t nobody got time for that!) but because the gratitude far outweighed the shittiness, and also- there is prudency involved in the telling of one’s story.  BUT- what I learned in the past year and a half is that life is too important to waste on trivialities, fakeness and all of that other bullshit.  The title of this blog is exactly how I feel about a multitude of things, which I am about to list off to you, in a pun-ny way, because in May I added to my cancer journey by having my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed (for added benefit to my body and to further lower my recurrence rate).

Enough with the pettiness already

Come on, really, we’re all adults.  Nothing turns me off more than 40+-year-olds that act like middle-school frenemies.  WHY are you like that?  WHAT does it prove?  If any of us have learned anything along the years, it’s that there is NO place for:  one-upping each other, putting anyone down, gossiping, judging, doing things to try to make yourself look better than anyone else- it’s just not necessary.  We should all be supporting each other, accepting each other and lifting one another up.  Life is tough, people- we need to help each other out! 

Be YOURSELF and don’t compare YOUR life to anyone else’s

Social media is a double-edged sword.  It’s great for catching up with people and sharing news- but it’s HORRIBLE in that we tend to look at other people’s posts and think, “I wish I had that house/vacation/skin/body/ awesome kid/etc.”  What you have is YOUR life!  What you’re pining for on Facebook could be: a beauty filter (or ten- seriously-if you have to filter your photo until it’s blurry, there’s something wrong), an attempt to show people that life is great when it really sucks for the person posting, a life that simply doesn’t exist- or it could be completely true- but WHO KNOWS?  Only YOU know what your life is, and pretending to be something else to others is not a good thing.  You are: beautiful, intelligent, your hairdo is fine, your kid(s) are perfect, and your house is just right- BECAUSE IT’S ALL YOURS.  Happiness begins from within- not from trying to get what someone else has.

If you don’t have something nice to say, DON’T try to say it through passive-aggressiveness

Again- We’re all adults- Let’s act like it.  If you don’t want to do something, just say “no”-don’t say “yes” and then don’t follow through.  If you don’t like someone, don’t talk about them behind their back and then when confronted with what you said pretend to deny it (it makes you look even more like a jerk).  Please don’t neglect to share information when you know it could prevent a problem, then claim ignorance. Don’t give backhanded compliments- those are the worst!  And, oh, this is so prevalent on social media: “I’m just joking,” or writing something really mean and then following it with, “lol.”  We’re all guilty with this crap, because it’s so easy to just say “yes” or to just type “lol” at the end of a rant- I think we don’t realize that in trying to spare a feeling or two by doing these things, we’re hurting a few more people’s feelings. 

I could go on- but that’s what future blogs are for!  Have a great Summer, everyone!  Love & Peace, and BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER.

Jennifer Angarano Ricci is a wife, mother & creative soul-searcher.  She is a musician, artist, and baker, and runs her home business Baked By Jen, in addition to running her local community theater group.  She loves to sing, create and help others and tries to connect all three passions whenever possible.

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