There are things we worry about in life. Money. Love. Health. Getting old. Regrets. Terrorism. And last but not least: an empty wine fridge. BUT, when you really think about it – no matter how tough things get in life, no matter how bleak the world may seem in this moment – there is a ray of light: at least you didn’t kill anybody.

Yep. You heard me right. Someone isn’t dead. And that’s thanks to you. How awesome is that? I wish we both had a beverage right now because I’d “cheers” you, for sure.

Not killing anybody is a good thing. Not only for that “anybody,” but for you, too. “At least I didn’t kill anybody” is my new go-to phrase that makes me feel better – when I least expect it. (It’s replaced the ‘ole “at least I’ve got my limbs” – because, quite frankly, there’s a ton of people out there without limbs who are happier than most).

I may have an odd approach to life, but let’s give this some thought. You haven’t killed someone – that means you don’t have that “I just killed someone” stress. When you kill someone – you have to deal with sooo much more than you’re dealing with right now…like:

  • That awful moment when it hits you that, um, whoa, you just killed someone
  • The cover up – what do you do with the body??? (And btw, dead bodies stink)
  • The lies you’ll have to make up
  • The remembering of those lies
  • The worrying and waiting to be caught
  • Getting caught
  • The trial and subsequent verdict
  • Actually going to prison
  • Figuring out which gang to align with while in prison, whilst not offending
  • other gangs that want you…

and then finally

  • Getting out of prison and realizing you can no longer use the “at least I didn’t kill anybody” line to comfort yourself. Now what?

See? You are like soooo better off right now than someone who just killed somebody. Don’t you feel better already?

Sure, I may have watched too many episodes of “Barry,” but my point is: no matter what, no matter when, things could always be worse.

I like to think I’m an optimist. Maybe it’s more pessimistic optimism (can I trademark that?). My view on the world is this:

A glass of water

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Sure, the glass MAY be half empty…but that just means I can fill the darned thing with wine soon. So, please, drink up!

Here on the Daily Feels we’re honoring Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s my honor to put my own lil’ spin on things. Trust me. I’ve been down in it. I’ve gone to therapy. I’ve gone on a spiritual retreat. I’ve even taken a death class, for heaven’s sake. And I still feel down from time to time. But I’ve found ways to help and I’d love to share them with you.

  • Meditate – just 5 minutes a day, heck, even just 5 minutes, period. Try it.
  • Talk to someone – therapists are great, and/or find a friend(s) or family member(s) who lets you rage a little and get it all out. Keeping things in, hurts.
  • Know that this is just one moment in time – and the next moment could be completely different. Your pain is a season and it won’t last forever.
  • YOU are your own hero. Trying to find others to save you doesn’t work. You need to do the work and YOU need to save you.
  • Find something that makes you happy. Is it listening to a song, writing a song,
  • painting, walking, playing with a dog, making cupcakes, gardening, reading….Nike’s right – just do it!
  • Do something nice for someone – making others happy comes right back atcha.
  • Look in the mirror and say to yourself: “I Love You” – even if you don’t feel it. Fake it ‘till you make it and keep doing this until one day you do feel it, and then repeat.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others. You do not know their story. And their story doesn’t matter. On this note, give social media a break for a few hours or days, if you can. You’d be surprised at how much comparing you’re doing, even subconsciously – and how wrong your comparisons truly are.
  • Mend old wounds. Is there something you keep rehashing? Why not face it and mend it – whether you are able to mend things with a person or a thing, in person or on paper. Write an apology letter to yourself for holding onto this for so long. And forgive yourself for ALL OF IT.
  • Cut yourself some slack. It’s OK not to be OK. But don’t be OK with not doing anything about it. Take baby steps. Just get through the next hour or minute.
  • And then, of course, remember my soothing thought – at least you didn’t kill anybody 😊  

Everyone gets hit with tough situations. And sure, some are worse than others. But it’s how we deal with the tough things that make us who we are. Getting through the rough spots make us appreciate the good things even more. I know it can seem hard to see the light when you’re in the thick of it but know that everything you go through is a season. And a season is here for a reason. But a season never sticks.


Julie Slater, aka THE LOTUS FLOWER, looooves music. Besides being a rabid fan and musician, you may recognize her voice. She’s a voiceover artist and audiobook narrator ( She’s DJ’d on top stations: 88.5 FM and 100.3 the Sound in LA and 92.3 K-Rock in NYC following Howard Stern.

When she’s not at concerts, you can usually find her meditating or in the kitchen. She has a slight obsession with deep, dark cabernets & small batch whiskey. Namaste!

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