I pride myself on speaking about trusting God.  Are they just words or do I really live by it?  I was about to find out.  

Let’s start from the beginning. This past week was filled with the unexpected.  A lot of which was about money going out not coming in.  At least that’s how my husband saw it.  I on the other hand saw it quite differently.  We had to buy a new washing machine, get the car inspected, have the controls for the car windows fixed and a few more unexpected expenses added.  Money, as my husband nervously reminded me, that we didn’t have.  He went into his usual we’re on a fixed income saga and I went into my we’ve been on a fixed income for the past 44 and a half years reply.  He told me I didn’t understand that the cost of living is out of control.  I told him I did understand because I’d seen it escalate through the years while both our pay checks increased only slightly.  Living hand to mouth was the way we rolled.  He’d  worry about money and I wouldn’t.  I’d always tell him that even though our employers  didn’t monetarily value our work ethic and dedication that God did.  God sees what man chooses not to see.  I’d say trust God.  He’d say a God doesn’t pay our bills, we do.  True, but God always gives us added bonus.  I asked my husband to think about the unexpected surprises that happened this month.  Did he or did he not receive several calls to do music gigs?  If he added what unexpectedly came in to what unexpectedly was going out he’d see that we’d been provided for.   I ended our little heated debate with a rather loud “You don’t know how to trust God”.  He ended it by telling me I didn’t live in the real world.  Funny, I thought we both lived in the same world.  The only difference was I trusted God.  Or did I? That trust was gonna be tested.

Not only do I pride myself on trusting God, I also pride myself on being on time and prepared.  My April blog date was coming up and as usual I was going to submit it a couple of days early.  I always read my stories to my husband before I submit them so I can get his feedback.  I asked if he had a minute to listen and he said after dinner he’d hear it.  One thing led to another and I decided to wait till morning.  I wanted him to be clear minded when I read it because I felt it was my best story yet.  I liked the subject matter and the way it was written. My husband agreed that it was my best yet.  I was ready to send it in.  I followed my usual routine:  select all, copy,…  Wait a minute, what the bleep”?!?!  Where’s my story?    It was gone.  There’s no delete button.  What happened?  What’s going on?  Where did it go?  Tell me I didn’t just lose everything.  This is not funny, God.  This article was about how being betrayed by people taught me to put my trust in you.  How you never fail me.  Is this a late April Fools joke your playing or was my story a foolish one.  Are You putting my trust to the test right now?  If you are I might fail the test.

The irony of it all.  I’m writing about trusting God and He allows it to go to story heaven just like that.  He knew that this story meant a lot to me.  I put a lot of time and thought into it.  How was I going to rewrite it the same way.  With the same passion.  I wasn’t gifted with a photographic memory.  This was not good.  What was God doing to me!  He knew I had a big day ahead of me with lots to do.  I had no time to even try to remember what I wrote.  I decided I wasn’t”t gonna  give up hope just  yet.  Surprisingly, I was relatively calm.  Normally I would have blamed my husband for this happening.  If he only let me read it last night this wouldn’t have happened.  But I didn’t say that even though I wanted to. I posted on Facebook in hopes that someone would respond  with help.  Luckily, people were willing to assist me.  Unluckily, nothing worked.  Screw it.  I was gonna go downstairs and start my cooking.  

Before I continue with my trust saga I want to share with you something that happened a couple of weeks ago.  My husband and were invited to a party where we knew almost no one.  Usually I decline going anywhere but I felt drawn to go to this celebration and I was glad I did.  We were among the first to arrive.  As we were talking to some people, a man walked up to me gave me a big hug and a kiss and asked how I was doing as though we knew each other for years.  I had no idea who this man was.  Even my husband asked who he was.  (My husband  is very territorial when it comes to me, he doesn’t like other men touching his property.  ha, ha).  When we went home that night my husband asked again who this guy was.  How cute after almost 49 years he still gets jealous.  I think he took a picture of this man and stored it in his mind. We’ll get to this story later.  For now just think of how funny it is that my husband gets jealous.  

Sorry for the sidetrack.  Thinking about trust reminded me of the irony of my husbands jealousy.  Back to my story.  As I said, I had a busy day ahead of me.  I was preparing food to bring to my sons for his birthday. He and his family had recently moved into a new place.  I was anxious to see it all fixed up.  When we got there, I began telling my tale of woe about deleting the  story hoping that someone could make it reappear.  Again no one could help.  Let it go Debbie, let it go.

I struck up a conversation with a couple of people there. First I spoke with my bonus granddaughters dad. He was telling me about his recent move and he was giving thanks to God for all his blessings. I thought, how nice that this man recognizes God’s hand in something as routine as moving.  After we spoke I went outside to sit on the deck and began talking to his wife.  We got into a conversation about her job and how she had gotten it.  Very unexpected a dream job landed in her lap.  She ended that conversation by saying how everything happens in Gods way and in His timing.  All we have to do trust.  Okay, that’s two unexpected stories within twenty five minutes about Gods timing and trusting Him.  Was He trying to show me something?

As I reflected on these two stories that I just heard I thought about the new place my son and his family now lived in.  I remembered several conversations I’d had with my daughter in law where she had told me that when the time was right God would lead them to the right place.  She was right, He did.  This place was perfect for them.  He had led them just as He had led us to the home we live in today.  How could I doubt God even for an instant?  These stories were proof that God was not gonna  let me down.  In fact, unbeknownst to me, He was giving me the content of the story I felt He wanted submitted. There was still more to come.  

We were waiting for one of the guests to arrive who was bringing a friend.  Upon her arrival she began to introduce her friend.  As usual, my husband put his socialization skills to work.  The man was telling my husband that he was a widower.  My sympathetic ear caused me to listen.  In the midst of their conversation, the man said his full name.  I recognized that name. I had known his wife through work.  I never met him before but I had heard  from a friend how devoted  he was to his wife during her battle with cancer.  She had fought a courageous fight and both her children and her husband were strengthened through her strength.  I had read some of the posts he wrote on his wife’s Facebook page and was very moved by them.  Through his words I saw how very blessed he knew he was to have had her in his life.  I thought about  messaging him at the time to tell him that I had known his wife and that I had been moved by his entire family through this time of trial.  I never sent that message but I did hope that he was doing okay.  From time to time  I would think about this man and his kids and wonder how they were doing.  I could not believe that I was face to face with him.  What were the chances.  He was a kind man, very attentive, very personable, extremely helpful.  He had an endearing quality to him that in today’s world might make a person uncomfortable.  In it though, I saw his compassion. I felt that he genuinely cared for people.  At one point he came up to me and wrapped the shawl I  was wearing around my shoulders to keep me warm.  It amazed me how a man who watched his wife go through so much showed no bitterness toward God.  He was a church goer and a man who kept his faith during his biggest trial.  I sensed gratitude for what he had, wisdom from what he’d learned and hope for things to come.  He had lost his wife and was able to move forward.  Suddenly my deleted story was insignificant. This man had just taught me that the greatest loss we can have is a loss of trust God.  That no matter what God sees us through. He saw my husband and I through all our trials,  I saw his work in the conversations of this day and I saw him in this man.  I felt as though a God had come to me through this man to remind me that my trust should always be put in him first.  That He would take care of us all in His time and in His way.  We should never second guess why things don’t go according to our plan.  They go according to His plan.  

I left my sons house feeling renewed in my trust in God.  It was as though God had come up to me and given me a hug, and kiss and said continue to always trust in me.  I show up when you least expect it.  Many lessons were presented to me this day of days.  Many that were meant for me alone to process.  Through it all, I got a new story to tell.  A story that tied into my lost story of trust. A story given to me by God when I thought I’d have no story at all.

Oh yea, I almost forgot.  When my husband and I came home from my sons party he said he enjoyed meeting and talking to this guy.  He asked if I knew who he was..  I said of course I do, what’s wrong with you.  I told you I knew his wife.  He said I know that but do you know who else he is?  He’s the guy who hugged and kissed you at the party a couple of weeks ago.  Maybe God had kissed me after all.

Married 44 years to my hubby whose purpose in life is to prevent me from getting through the “Pearly Gates”. Mother of two, Nanna of four loving granddaughters and retired secretary aka administrative assistant. I went to the University of Hard Knocks where I received my Doctorate. My thesis is titled: How To Survive Life’s Trials Without Killing Yourself or Someone Else. I live by the belief that when life throws you a curve, learn from it rather than use it against yourself. Faith and humor are my survival kit. Appreciate the simple things for they are the true treasures of life.

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